When You're Tired of Living in Fight-or-Flight Mode: Tuesday Morning with Lynn

Written by Lynn Pritchard September 9th 2026

A friend recently texted me and said she was tired of living in fight-or-flight mode. She felt it had been going on for the past six years, and she didn't know how to get out

of it.

Entering the working world had been frightening for her. No matter how hard she

worked, she felt she had to work even harder just to be noticed. Instead of receiving encouragement, she worried that people were talking behind her back.

Her words stayed with me because I know she is not the only person who feels this way.

Many people are carrying more than anyone realizes. They are worried about their jobs, bills, families, health, and what the future may bring. They wake up already tense and go to bed wondering whether they did enough. When you live this way for a long time, every problem can begin to feel like an emergency.

You Are Already Strong

When someone has survived years of stress, telling them to "be stronger" is not always helpful. They are already strong. They have been getting up, going to work, caring for others, and continuing even when they feel exhausted inside.

The next step is not necessarily becoming tougher. It is learning how to turn survival strength into self-confidence.

Starting a new job can be intimidating. You are learning new responsibilities, meeting new people, and trying to understand what is expected of you. You may make mistakes. You may not receive credit for everything you do. There may even be people who gossip or criticize.

Unfortunately, people sometimes will talk about us. We cannot control every conversation that happens after we leave a room. What we can control is how much authority we give those conversations over our lives.

Helpful feedback can teach us something. Gossip does not define us.

What Having Thick Skin Really Means

Having thick skin does not mean becoming cold, angry, or uncaring. It doesn't mean pretending unkind words never hurt. It means knowing yourself well enough that every opinion doesn't become your truth.

Confidence is being able to say:

I can listen, learn, and improve without allowing someone else's opinion to destroy my sense of worth.

You do not have to prove yourself to everyone. Go to work, do your best, ask questions when you need help, and correct your mistakes. Let your consistency speak for you. The right people will eventually notice, but even before they do, your effort still has value.

Put Into the World What You Hope to Receive

I believe what we give has a way of coming back to us. That does not mean every good deed receives an immediate reward, or that difficult circumstances are a punishment. Life does not always work that neatly.

It means that the energy we carry affects the world around us. When we offer kindness, encouragement, patience, or a helping hand, we become part of the goodness we hope to receive.

You may not be able to stop workplace gossip, but you can choose not to participate in it. You may not receive praise today, but you can notice someone else who is trying. You may be having a difficult day and still offer another person a kind word.

Sometimes the goodness returns through the same person, and sometimes it comes from somewhere completely unexpected. Either way, kindness keeps hardship from changing who we are.

Take One Step Out of Survival Mode

You do not have to fix six years of fear in one day. Start with one small step.

Before entering work, take a slow breath and remind yourself: "I deserve to be here, even while I am learning." At the end of the day, name one thing you handled well. If someone gives you useful feedback, learn from it. If someone offers only gossip or cruelty, leave it with them.

Most importantly, stop measuring your worth by how hard you can push yourself or how many people approve of you. Your value is not determined by a job title, a mistake, a rumor, or someone else's inability to recognize your effort.

If you are starting a new job, searching for one, or simply trying to survive an uncertain season, remember this: this moment is not your entire story.  Keep moving forward, protect your confidence, help others when you can, and leave room for life to return that goodness in ways you may not yet see.

I dedicate this blog to a very good friend of mine. I am incredibly proud of her courage, her strength, and how hard she continues to work—even during the moments when she may not recognize that strength within herself. Love you so much Lynn